The Kids Are Losing Their Minds (Blitzkrieg Bop)

Hey Ho! Let's Go!

I went over to Tiffany's last night.  Didn't stay the night or anything, just went over there to hang with her, Joseph, and Daniel.  We had a lot of fun, but we kind of ended up staging an intervention.  For Joseph, and kind of for Nikki.  We were selfish about it, but they really do need to be friends again for their own good.  So, we called Nikki (at Joseph's request actually) and pretty much told her that he misses her, and that we know she misses him, and all that jazz.  She says she has to think about everything first, and talk to Andy, and I completely understand that.  She cried.  I kind of think he did too.  Not sure on the last part though.  Anyway, they haven't talked yet, but they will.  Which makes me happy.

I spent all day doing nothing.  Literally.  I got to school late, so that I would miss yoga, and all I did first block was sit in a chair because i had like, two lines.  Second block we went to the library, where I did nothing.  Third block we went to the library and I did nothing.  Fourth block I did ten minutes of driver's ed work, filled out Mr. Nunnelee's grade book, and hung out with Austin in Mrs. Hartz's room.  then I went to the library.  It was a very good day for me.

Oh, yesterday I went to get my permit.  I did not get it.  They give you this eye test thing where you have to read off the first row of numbers to them.  Well, the rows are divided in three columns, and I all I saw was the last two.  I could see the first column, but it was blank.  And the woman was a bitch to me.  So, Mom has to get the eye doctor to sign this paper, but he's agreed to do it without having to see me again, since he saw me in November.  So, I'm going next Wednesday.

Here I Stand, All Alone

Madina Lake.

So, the play is going to suck.  Whatever.

Post Secret is starting to get to me.  So many of them are me.  And today in fourth block, Brittany McGrew was in there, and she read my Post Secret card and said "Damn, some of these people are really messed up."  She obviously didn't know it was mine.  This is a problem.

I Use To Be Love Drunk But Now I'm Hungover...

So, Aaron asked this chick out.  Her name is Ashton Love.  How sick is that?  She's tony and blonde and perfect.  The scary thing is that she is a lot like me.  She doesn't match her socks.  She was wearing a fucking Paramore t-shirt on Friday that I fucking have.  I'm wearing it on Monday too, and I'm going to pull it off better than her because I have boobs.

I can't help but wonder how things could've turned out between us.  Surely he meant what he told Morgan, why else would he have said it?  I shouldn't have told him that I didn't like him anymore in that note.  I should have told him that I love him more than anything.  I don't like being in love, it makes me vulnerable.  I cried to Austin on Friday afternoon.

Katie thinks I don't want him to be happy.  I think she may be right.  When he wasn't happy, he talked to me all the time, and things were great.  Then he started getting happier and happier, and he talked to me less and less.  I can't help but wonder if these two things had something to do with each other.  They had too.  So, do I want him to be happy without me, or do I want him to be unhappy with me?

I know I want him to be happy, but I just don't want it to be with her.  Austin said she'll break his heart and he'll come running back to me, but I don't think that's true.  I think it's been way to long for that.  I know there's a lot of stuff that's happened to me that I got through without him, so the same must be true for him.

On another note, Tony asked Austin what was going on between me and John the Freshman.  Apparently John has been giving me googly eyes, which everyone has noticed but me.  I find it extremely odd that Tony would want to know.  I mean, for him to ask, it must have been bothering him, right?  I was wrong about him and Tamara.  They aren't back together after all.

Oh, Lindsay had her baby.  Sky Miller.  Six pounds, six ounces.

Update!

I'm grounded, the Aaron situation is bad, and that's it.  Just thought I'd let you in.

Can Has Tot Babies?

So, finally did my birthday thing today.  We ended up seeing Youth In Revolt instead of Sherlock Holmes, and it was soo funny.  I'm kind of pissed though.  See, Austin told Tiffany that he had no interest in seeing Sherlock Holmes, and so he told me that Morgan wasn't allowed to have boys in her car.  Which, for one thing, I've been in her car with boys, and for another, I asked her and she said she didn't say that.  He's just being a dick, and now he's come out with this story about his mom being in some sort of accident today, and that's why he couldn't go.  He's just a liar and I'm sick of it.  He called Tiffany about it and everything, and then she called me.

We had a lot of fun today.  It ended up being me, Daniel, Morgan, and Joseph, since Tiffany had to go to her Grandmother's and Austin's a dick.  Youth In Revolt was hilarious.  Justin Long was really hot in it, even with all the shrooms.  We went to Sonic after that, and I got tater tots!  I do love tater tots.  They and these things called Tot Babies for kids under three, but we didn't get any.  Kind of wished we had.

So, I'm grounded right now.  Yeah.  Report cards came.  But the parents have neglected to take my laptop, which has an internet connection.  I don't get it either but I'm not complaining.

Scotty Doesn't Know That Fiona And Me Do It In My Van Every Sunday

"Scotty Doesn't Know" by Lustra.  Best.Song.Ever.

So, here's the lowdown, Tiffany slept with Shiloah (I'm not mad, I had a thing for him for about a week and got over it), Joseph didn't know until yesterday, then Tiffany told him.  Joseph got really mad and confronted Shiloah about it, but he denied it, even when Joseph told him that he knew.  Shiloah said that he would rather be gay than do something with Tiffany, and that she was a liar.  So, we all hate him now.

I think Aaron has a love interest.  There's some chick in drama named Ashton Love that was wearing his hoodie.  She doesn't match her socks either, which makes me mad, since he used to make fun of me for mismatching my socks.  She's tiny and blonde.  I am not happy.  I stayed home from school yesterday because I didn't want to deal with him.  Dumb, I know, but I couldn't take it.

We had auditions the other day.  I got juror five, which I didn't want at first, but during the cold reads I realized that I actually liked the part quite a bit.  She's the juror from the slums.  Billy is my counterpart in 12 Angry Men.  Caitlyn got juror 8, one of two main parts, and I don't get it.  Even when we were friends I thought she couldn't act, but I never said anything.  She can barely even read the part, but whatever. 

Oh, I'm finally going to see Sherlock Holmes today.  Austin's being a dick and not going.  Morgan, Daniel, Joseph, and me, that's who's going.

Hey Soul Sister

Train song.  Get it.

Anyway, snow days finally let up today, and we had auditions.  Due to the time constraint, we had the auditions and parts were up by ten minute break.  I got juror five, which I did not initially want, but when we were doing the cold reads, I worked the part.  See, she's from the slums, and everybody else that did it seemed angry about it, but I just played it matter-of-fact.  I thought that worked better. 

Oh, Austin supposedly got kicked out of his house yesterday, but after he told everyone he was getting to stay, I'm beginning to wonder, you know?  If maybe he was just being dramatic.  He probably was.  Kind of pisses me off.

Belle Notte

Lady And The Tramp, but I digress.

I was just invited to the baby shower of someone younger than me.  I find this to be wrong.  Lindsay's sixteen and she's having a baby.  It's awful.  I mean, I know she says she wants it, but if she had been asked that before she got pregnant, there's no way she would have said that.  It's just weird, you know?

This Club Has Got To Be The Most Pretentious Thing...

"Paralyzer" by Finger Eleven. Download it.

Snow day today. And boredom had caused me to blog. I'm not really sure what I'm blogging about. Just blogging I guess.

I talked to Aaron last night about the Post Secret thing. Sort of. He actually brought it up. It turns out he couldn't think of his own secret, so he used someone else's. Or, at least that's what he told me. He didn't tell me whose, or what though. He wanted me to tell him mine, but I wouldn't do it. I didn't think it mattered. And then he got off, mid conversation. So, whatever.

I spent last night reading old messages on myspace. It made me pretty sad, because I don't even talk to 90% of those people anymore.

Can You Feel the Love Tonight?

I'm watching The Lion King. Love that movie, by the way. Especially since I found out all the anti-gay things in it, and it being based on Hamlet. And yes, I did in fact cry when Mufasa died.

So, remember that crazy Aaron Post Secret fantasy? It's still going. Somebody turned in a card that said something like that. Now, if he gets on myspace tonight, I'm going to ask him if he's turned his card in. If he hasn't, that takes him out. If he has, tomorrow (barring a snow day) Austin is going to look in the box again and see if the number on the back starts with a 1 or a 3. If it starts with a 3, then it's somebodies ion my class, and the class isn't that big.

I don't know why I'm torturing myself like this. I know it isn't his. I just can't help it though. And I don't even want him, I just miss him so much.

Auditions for 12 Angry Women are tomorrow, if it's not a snow day. That means that I need to finish my resume and cover letter.

Love (A Story About Faschism And Post Secret)

Why do we, as humans, constantly think up a fantasy scenario when anything, and I mean anything, happens.

Wondering what I'm talking about? Here, I'll fill you in. Today in 3rd block Mrs. Hartz talked to us about Post Secret. She read us a few, and passed around a book. Then she read us some that last semester's English 3 made. Some of them were horrible. Then she gave us cards, and we're making our own. I just finished mine.

"every time i say i'm fine i want someone to say that i'm not fine but they don't. i hope someone does before it's too late."

Dramatic, I know. But true.

Anyway, as soon as I started thinking about it, I came up with this crazy fantasy that Aaron would put that he was in love with his best friend, but didn't do anything about it, and now it's too late. Absurd. I don't even know if I want that to happen...

So, this morning in drama I changed out to yoga pants, and I had worn that new purple tank thing, and I took my hoodie off. So, I did yoga in a purple tank top and black yoga pants. If I do say so, I looked hot. Ok, maybe not, but still. Tony did a bit of a double take when he got there late.

Oh, I got unlimited texting. And if in a few days I stop getting on for a while that would be because reports card come...I failed Physics, remember?

Tabula Rasa Tabula Rasa Tabula Rasa

I instant messaged Aaron a little while ago. We talked for a bit, it went well. I still can't make myself feel anything for him anymore anyway. I mean, that's a good thing, I just want to make sure that I am over him before I go after anybody else, because that would be bad.

School went well today. I have drama first block. Tony and Aaron are both in there, but I think Aaron is switching to an art. Fine by me, you know? We do yoga in there, which I'm not nuts about. Lot of downward dog stuff. Looks like anal sex. Seriously.

Second block is sociology, and it is boring so far. Third I have English 3, and so far it's ok. I sit in a corner with Austin, Tiffany, Joseph, Daniel, and Katie. Aaron's in there, but he sits with Spencer and Caitlyn. Fourth I've got Driver's Ed, which means that I absolutely have to get my permit. Ausitn, Morgan, and Tony are in there, but that doesn't really mean anything. We'll be in different driving groups probably.

Of All The Gin Joints In All The World (He Walks Into Mine)

A nice variation of the Casablanca quote.

I went to bed at four. In the morning. Woke up at nine. In the morning. Ugh. Trust me, I did not wake myself up, Mom did. We went to Flealand today. I am happy about that, I just wish it didn't require me to get five hours of sleep.

At the book place in one of the legs, they had a whole bunch of Buffy books. They had the entire Gatekeeper's Trilogy, and I almost bought it, but instead I bought the first four volumes of Tales of the Slayers. It looks really good. Pretty much all it is is four books of short stories about the slayers that came before Buffy, and i think there's a couple of them that are about her. I got the set for 12 bucks, which was a damn good deal. After Flealand we went to Big Lots, where I bought two pairs of leg warmers. Grey, and pink and gray striped. 3 dollars for the pair. I only have six dollars and change now, not counting the twenty for the movie, which I think I will try and do this coming Saturday.

Watched Grosse Pointe Blank again yesterday. Again, I am reminded of my sickening fascination with movie hitmen. I am an emotionally disturbed chick. But, in this world, everyone is, so I don't suppose I'm too bad off.

Well, last night I did a very stupid thing. I was bored, and so I got on myspace and started watching those videos from the Dark Knight. Yeah, I didn't even get through the first ten seconds without bursting into tears. Sad thing is, that is not an exx[ageration, it is fact. I don't know when I'm going to stop punishing myself like this, but it has got to be soon. I can't take this much longer.

Oh, on another note, we all thought Lindsay had gone into labor Monday night, but it turns out it was just one of those premature labor things that they can stop. Which is good, because it would've been way premature.

Rosencratz And Guildenstern Are Undead

Funny shit right there. Personally, it looks like my kind of movie, but then again, I love R and G, and I love vampires. Oh, and something I realized today. 99% of vampires are vamps. You know, not all fangy and blood sucky, but all seductive and sexual. I find that funny. Oh, and there's going to be another Lost Boys movie. Lost Boys: The Thirst. Hope it's good. Also, they're making a movie of The Historian. In 2010. Ooh, and a US remake of Let The Right One In called Let Me In. I'll put the links of those and a few more at the end of this. For some reason that thing where I put the link in and change what it looks like isn't working.

So, yesterday we went shopping. Bowling Green. Since I had Christmas and birthday money, I bought a shitload of stuff, and I still have forty dollars left. Since I know you're dying to know, I'll just tell you what I bought. At the Great Escape I bought Grosse Pointe Blank for four something. At the mall I bought a Duran Duran t shirt at Old Navy, an adorable purse at Journey's, and four stellartastic bras at JCPenny's. Well, Mom bought the bras. One of them looks Burlesque. Or maybe steampunk. That's the only reason I mentioned them, because it reminds me of something on Moulin Rouge, or Chicago, and it excited me greatly. At Target I bought the new Every Avenue and We the Kings CDs. Mom finally bought me True Blood like she said she would months ago. Oh, and it was only seventeen dollars. Yeah. I'm almost done watching it, and it is really really good. I mean, I figured it would be, since I've read the books, but it is exceptional. Eric isn't hot enough though.

Oh, we went to Barnes and Noble too, and I almost used up my Barnes And Noble cards. I'd say I've got about a books worth left. I got that Buffy book I've been eyeing on the website. Buffy The Vampire Slayer And Philosophy: Fear And Trembling In Sunnydale. I've already started it, it's pretty good. Lot of stuff about Plato and Nietzsche. I also bought Nightlight, which is a parody of Twilight and looks very funny, Audrey Wait, which I bought mostly because there's a My Chemical Romance quote on the first page, and Generation Dead, which has zombies, so yeah. Self explanatory.

Today we went to Bowling Green again, and I got to eat Burger King onion rings. I haven't had those in a long time either, so they were exceptionally good. We didn't really go anywhere except Burger King, and Dad went in Auto Zone for a second. We were going to go to Flealand but it wasn't open because it's only open on Saturdays and Sundays.

Here are those links...You're going to have to copy and paste them, I think.
30 Days Of Night: Dark Days http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1320304/
The Historian http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0493704/
Let Me In (US remake of Let The Right One In) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1228987/
Lost Boys: The Thirst http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1400526/
Castlevania (based on the video game series) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0488982/
Dark Shadows (based on the old soap opera, and it might possibly star Johnny Depp) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1077368/