"Sweet Dreams" by The Eurythmics. Or, if you're more into it, Marilyn Manson. But his version is just scary as hell.
Anyway, so I'm up blogging this early because I had a terrible dream. It was another of those not exactly a nightmare by definition but still pretty damn scary dreams.
I'm fuzzy on the beginning of it, but I know I met a guy. I don't remember what his name was, but he looked just like Jared. I think he only looked just like Jared to me though, because I had a conversation with somebody in the dream and when I mentioned they looked like twins whoever it was looked at me like I was crazy.
Anyway, at some point we drove this guy's truck down to the creek that really exsists in the woods behind my house. The truck looked suspisciouslly like Tony's, but I won't delve into that. Anyway, so we were done at the creek, and my g-pa showed up. Keep in mind he's certifiably off-his-medication crazy in real life, and that I have a deep seated fear I'll be like that when I get older. Anyway, he shows up and starts freaking out thinking the guy has kidnapped me or something, and he pulls out a gun and starts shooting at him, so we drive off. Nothing but the truck got shot, so that wasn't the scary part. The scary part was when the guy told me he couldn't be with me anymore because of the crazyness.
I guess to anyone else that wouldn't seem like a nightmare, but to me it is. I am absolutely terrified that I'm going to develop what my g-pa has, and i'm so scared that everyone I love will leave me because of it.
When I woke up the first thought that came to my head was literally "This disease is always going to come between me and the people I love."
My hands are shaking so much right now. I mean, I know that dreams don't necessarily mean anything, but they don't necessarily mean nothing at the same time. So I'm scared.
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